section 13

author's note: this section contains some telling. telling is a big no-no in the writing business. lemme explain why I used it tho; I wrote this section in tinier sections that were in no way related to each other and before posting I had to connect them together. these bits of telling will be evolved upon, don't worry!

I took the bus home. It meant walking three blocks, but what Devyn had said had struck me. What if my parents did smell the smoke on me? What if I got in trouble? What if Andrew’s allergies acted up and they figured it out that way? I was dreading going home now and hopefully the bus ride and six blocks of walking would help the smell of the smoke drift away. When I reached the front porch though I could still smell it on me and my mouth still felt thick and chalky.

I stood on the cement porch and dug through my bag for mints or lotion or anything I could do to cover up the smell. I could hear Andrew talking with his therapist and Mom was clanging pots and pans around in the kitchen, which meant Dad was probably in his study. Slowly, I twisted the handle and opened up the door. The house was only a few years old so the door didn’t creak when I opened it. I took off my shoes before going in to the house and walked across the wood floor.

“Brigitte?” Mom called out from the kitchen, her head peaked through the archway.

My heart stopped in my chest and I stopped on the stairway and leaned over the banister. “Hey, sorry I’m late. I was at the library—I called.”

“Oh, I know, just wanted to know how your day went.”

I ducked back into the protection of the stairwell and frowned. I smelled like nicotine and now she wanted to bond? Did she already know? Was there some Mom sense that was kicking in? I licked my dry lips and swallowed.

“It was fine Mom, you know school, lunch, friends,” not avoiding peer pressure, “same old, same old.”

“Oh, well that’s good.” Her voice echoed in the kitchen and I could tell she had turned back to do whatever it was that she was doing.

“Uhm, do I have time to take a shower before dinner?” I called out when I was three steps away from the top.

“Yeah, I’m running a little behind today,” she hollered.

“Indoor voices!” Andrew stated.

I sighed and thanked whoever it was that was responsible for letting me get off scott-free, at least so far.

I felt relieved once I turned off the shower. I still had to get the stench out of my mouth, but I was halfway there. I couldn’t believe I had done that, that I had smoked. Sure, smoking wasn’t exactly up there with bungee jumping, but it was dangerous. I knew a headache would probably be coming on soon, I still felt revived though.

I didn’t look too different. Maybe my pupils were dialated. I leaned into the peer and studied my brown rimmed pupils. Yeah, they were defnitely dialated.

Kayla was preoccupied at school for the next few days. All she could talk about was the dance and her dress and her dreamy new boyfriend. I wished them the very best, but I wanted my best friend back. Cody did his best to be enough friend for both of them but it didn’t really matter. Cody wasn’t the same as Kayla.

Even with the ignoring going on I still wasn’t too depressed. I had Wednesday to look forward too. And I had Thursday’s study group with Devyn to look forward to as well.

Tonight, Lyle was wearing paint splattered jeans and his knee was poking out from a hole in the right leg. He was relaxing in the same folding metal chair that he was last time. Dad had dropped me off early so we were the only ones there besides Polly and Carter who were sifting through papers.

“You’re here early,” I commented. Lithely I sat down in the seat next to him but situated the chair so it was tilted towards him but further away. I still wasn’t sure where my feelings stood with Lyle. He was cute, that was for certain, but I just wasn’t sure I liked him liked him. He was someone I could relate to, sure, that was the whole point of this group. But I didn’t want to talk or be with someone I could relate to, I wanted to be with someone who could take me away from what I was dealing with. Someone who wouldn’t be able to comiserate with me or show me sympathy. Someone who would treat me like Brigitte teenage girl and not Brigitte older sister to Mr. Autism.

“I finished tutoring early,” he said casually.

“What are you in tutoring for?”

“Oh, I’m not in tutoring. I tutor the kids at Denver Elementary, the ones with learning disorders. I got involved in it in sixth grade, we had to do a volunteer project. I actually ended up liking it, I get credit for it in my social studies class and it looks great on college applications.”

“Oh,” I said sullenly. It was sweet really, but not something I would ever want to be involved in. I had enough learning difficulties at home with Andrew, I didn’t need to experience anymore when I was at school. “That’s really cool,” I tried to sound enthusiastic, but when we fell in to an awkward silence I realized I failed. “Uhm, so how was your week?” I tried.

“Business as usual,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. Daisy and Jenny walked in to the room, passing a Nintendo 64 back and forth, waving at Polly and Carter without looking up. “Sophie went on some outings with her social group, so the house was pretty quiet.”

“That must have been nice.” Andrew threw tantrums all weekend because Mom forgot to give him his meds on time and he was messed up for the rest of the day.

“Yours?” He pulled out a pack of gum and offered me a stick but I shook my head.

“It was okay… I guess. I have a lot of school projects going on right now and my best friend if kind of ignoring me, she has a new boyfriend. It’s like some disorder or something.” I shurgged and watched as a few more of the kids strolled in.

“What kind of projects?” he asked.

I explained a few of them to him quickly, I was sure they weren’t very intresting and that he was just trying to make small talk.

word count: 1071